Showing posts with label mark sanford. Show all posts
Showing posts with label mark sanford. Show all posts

Wednesday, July 1, 2009

Karl Malden Dead, MJ 4ever...


The streets of San Francisco are filled with mourners after the news of Karl Malden's death. On the waterfront, silence. Mr. Malden died today from complications of being quite old. He was eighty or ninety.


In other news, Michael Jackson will live on in the hearts of people who think it's okay for an adult to compare wee-wee sizes with ten year olds. Spike Lee and Al Sharpton have eulogized nearly forty hours straight as neither has anything better to do. Like Michael Jackson himself, their best work is long behind them.


My respect for Mark Sanford has grown over the last few days. Any politician who acts exactly the opposite of the way their supporters demand gets my vote. He digs this chick, and ain't nothin' gonna change that.


Al Franken was declared the winner of the Minnesota Senate race seven months after the polls closed. And we're gonna lecture Iran?

Tuesday, June 30, 2009

The King of Pop


Dear Michael Jackson,

The heat, oh, the heat.

Thanks for dying, you crazy sum-bitch. Makes my little
peccadillo look like a moon-walk in the park. Moon walk. Get it?
Puns. I love 'em.

P.S. Also, thanks to Farah and Ed McMahon, and Billy Mays.
Oh, what the hell, that dead Iranian chick didn't hurt either. It really is all about timing.

Kindest Regards

Mark Sanford
S.C. Governor and Swinging Skin Sword Associate Member